How do you make time in your life for being the best you that you can be right now, while also doing the work and setting the stage for who you can be, want to be

I find that if I’m doing my best right now, being the best outreach specialist, club president, friend, fiance (okay, that one suffers), sister (okay, that one suffers worse), daughter (no really, it’s bad). There’s not time to think about becoming better. Like that half-finished Joy Plan that’s sitting on my nightstand underneath a book on becoming a better writer that’s barely been cracked.

How do you be the best you possible, and still put a focus to the you you want to become? Is there even time to find out who that is? A better writer? A manager? A big shot advertiser? A gym rat? Someone who has a clean home and healthy, home-cooked meals every evening? A mom? Someone who has a strategy for the way they live their own life?

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… it happens. And there’s no sense in making myself feel bad for it.

But I do not need to stop being grateful. Being so busy, I get caught up in the stress of it all and can’t forget that actually taking the time to write. it. down. makes a difference in my whole life. So today, I’m grateful for:

• The ridiculously amazing team of young professionals that made the launch of this website out of this world amazing.
• Support from those that have come before us, that believe in us and simply show up for us (me).
• The Feeling from after a really great workout. Must remember that feeling.
• The incredible company I work for. I get to learn every. single. day. I get to wear jeans to work. Oh and did I mention, they’re giving me 10 days off so I can GO TO ISRAEL NEXT MONTH?!

So, that’s just a snapshot for right now. Because things are busy. But they aren’t going to slow down any time soon. So maybe you’ll hear from me again soon. Maybe it’ll be July before you do. I’m not sure … But I know I want to hold on to this feeling for as long as I can …

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It’s been more than a month since my last gratitude post. Do you ever feel like you need to be beaten over the head with stuff?

writing makes you feel good

thud.

hey, working out? it is an immediate lift to your spirits

thud.

yeah, that gratitude thing? it works, babe.

thud, thud, THUD.

So today, and for the past month, I am super grateful for:

• Looking back on this and letting it make me smile.
• My seriously brilliant fiance for his endless support in LITERALLY. EVERYTHING. that I want/love/need [I feel like this is on basically every gratitude post, but it's true].
• Old friends, new friends, the excitement that comes with meeting someone new and you get each other.
• My little sister; without her, I literally could not survive.
• Supremely healthy meals cooked at home that are literally gourmet.

What are you grateful for this week?

*let’s pretend it’s still Wednesday, hmm?

I feel like I’m coming of age again, and finding myself.

It’s like I’ve learned that people like me for exactly who I am.

These are two things I’ve said in the last week, on separate occasions. I’m not sure what it is that’s come over me in the last few weeks, but I feel like me again. Like the most me I’ve felt in a really long time. I didn’t even know that I hadn’t been feeling like me.

Once upon a time, I actually was That Loud Girl. But when people meet me In Real Life that know me mostly online, they’re kinda like “really?”

some background, maybe?

I didn’t know it, but my spirit was broken when I graduated college – when I completed one particularly grueling class. I became a hermit. I mean, I got a job, I moved in with my boyfriend, etc. and Life Was Great and all. But I went inward. I became an introvert that I never really knew. I felt like I had to be on and psych myself up to be around people.

it. was. exhausting.

And then I fell into this club. It took some time, but then we actually became a club [as in it was more than just me and one other person]. And then I started getting to know people and making friends and being completely and 100 percent me all of the time. With people around. And I run my mouth and I swear too much and I have a little [okay, a lot] of crazy in my eye and I probably end up scaring a lot of people the first time I meet them.

But them they keep coming back. They join the club. They want to be around me. Let me pause.

This is starting to sound like a cry for compliments. It’s not. I swear.

that’s right. at age 26, i have learned that people honest-to-god love me for exactly who i am.

It’s not that I wasn’t being myself. I just wasn’t being around people. I figured that the people who need to love me already do. I’ve got everyone I need.

But on Thursday night, with not one sip of alcohol in my blood, I was seriously drunk on love. I was around a crapload of people, and I didn’t need to be on. I was just there. Being me. Having a great freaking time.

So, I’m a little bit crazy, and a little bit loud. I love to laugh, often for no reason at all. I’m a writer, but I often have no idea why. I may not know who I am entirely, but I love it anyway.*

Self-love, bitches. What of it?

*And thank you to the ladies who helped me figure it out this week.

Prompt: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (from Karen Walrond)

What a funny prompt this is. I find that I’m accidentally reading several other posts, and finally writing my own much later in the day. I didn’t realize I was doing this until Alex pointed out that she was attempting the opposite. And then I saw what fun the crowdsourcing angle can be. And then I stumbled upon this gem about how we are all tragically undifferent. At least that’s how I read it. But I did agree with one point – your own opinion on what makes you different is skewed and unnecessary.

i actually struggle with this thing all the damn time.

Originality doesn’t exist. Everything I’ve ever said, done, written or thought has already been discussed, executed, written about, contemplated. In a world where it’s cool to be different and hip to be uncool, where the hell does that leave those of us that have been uncool since it was uncool to be uncool? [wait, what? You heard me.]

so where does that leave you? or me? or anyone?

Leave differences. And similarities at the door. We have something in common that we bond over? Awesome. We are different and that makes us bond? Spectacular. You do you and I’ll do me and lets let that be good enough.

let the love in. that’s what’s beautiful here.

so what’s this?

#reverb10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. Get in on this.

Feeling icky and wallowy today. I know this blog, writing, showing gratitude, is not a miracle pill, but hopefully it helps a little …

• The way writing, seemingly miraculously, clears my head. I mean, duh, how many times do I need to relearn this one. Still grateful.
• Brad, for at least a besquillion items, but right now in particular for: cooking dinner, listening to my nonsensical dribble, lighting the Hanukkah candles with me, giving me time and space to write it out, building anything and everything, taking good care of my heart …
• #reverb10 for challenging me to broaden both my writing, and my community.
• This photo, for reminding me how important it is [both for me, and my loved ones] to be true to my feelings:

my mom and i on her wedding day

Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (from Alice Bradley)

2010 was actually not much of a “letting go” kind of year for me. It was more about settling down and finding adulthood. In October, I was forced to let go of complacency. I was forced to let go of my sense of security. And in 2011 right now, I’m letting go of fear.

so what’s this?

#reverb10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. Get in on this.

As the holidays begin to close in on us, the days are quickly getting away from me one by one. I have been feeling like I need to “get caught up” on all these reverb posts – both reading and writing – and I do. But today I realized it doesn’t necessarily have to be in order. I do plan on writing on every single topic, because it’s my goal as a writer to answer every prompt. (Yes, I realize the objective is to get myself writing on the daily, not just on each prompt, but hopefully in pushing myself to write on them all, I’ll try to avoid letting them pile up like this again.)

So, on to it.

Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (from Caligater)

So, did this happen to anyone else? You graduate college, and then suddenly a year or two later, discover that there’s all kinds of hobbies and clubs and crap out there? You suddenly realize you have time for all the stuff you were too busy studying  to enjoy back in school. No? Just me?

In 2009 I was all “OMG bikes and blogs and clubs and yoga and stuff!”

In 2009, I discovered a lot of communities.

and in 2010, i started to build one.

I am the president of a four-person club called Ad2 Reno (that’s DOUBLE our membership from a month ago, thankyouverymuch). It’s a club I almost let die, and it’s a club that is constantly reminding me why I’m here, living this life, working in advertising, doing what I do. I mean, advertisers are obvs the most fun. But Ad2 helps foster something in me that is essential to my well being. In Ad2, I get to teach, to lead. In Ad2, I get to make my very own local community a better place in a very real, tangible way, through public service. So yeah, I’ve found community there. I discovered a national community that is there to support me and my baby little club.

and in 2011?

We’re going all the way. We’re creating a community for young advertisers, and I’m going to deeply connect the crap out of it.

so what’s this?

#reverb10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. Get in on this.

Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (from Ali Edwards)

This one is hard for me to answer today. I’m feeling particularly un-alive today, and waiting all the way until 4 p.m. has not made addressing this topic any easier for me.

I have a lot of answers to this question, depending on the day. Which makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. In a really big way. If you’ve gotten through week one of The Joy Equation, you’ve answered this question before. I don’t have my journal in front of me, but if I’m remembering correctly, I answered this prompt on a particularly lost, sad little day. Concerned that I’m not doing things that make me feel alive, that must have been a tear-stained page.

but then i remembered. i remember.

There are two things in my life that make me feel more alive than anything else. The first, I’ve sort of written about before. I feel the most alive when I’m giving of myself in the truest ways I know how. Right now, that’s serving as the president of a club that’s found itself in infancy. Again. It’s mentoring students, bridging gaps and building relationships. I learn SO. FREAKING. MUCH. from helping other people learn.

The second is family. I feel most like myself, the person I was born to be when I’m around family. I can be 100 percent the most real version of me. My little sister? That’s my soul right there, sitting outside of my body. And when I think about Brad, and the life we’re building, it literally starts to bring tears to my eyes. (Holy cow – sap much?) But really, his family is mine and mine is his. Completely.

So, a specific moment? No, not really. I got promoted this year, we found The House, he asked me to be his forever and ever. But it’s the collection of moments that make me know how very alive I am.

so what’s this?

#reverb10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. Get in on this.

Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (from Leo Babauta)

You know, writing for prompts is a funny business. It forces you to think about something that you may never thought was worth thinking about. Or to look at something in a new way.

There are at least 100 things I can think of that don’t contribute to my writing. Some things contribute to my life, my livelihood, which indirectly contributes to my writing.

All #reverb10-ers should probably read Matt Chevy’s post today on second guessing. I second guess myself all the time, and my writing is no different. But I think the one thing I can – and should – eliminate from my day is the separation, the divide, that exists from the writing I do for work and the writing I do for me.

It’s almost an entirely different process. In some way, I’ve been incapable of seeing how the two writers in me are the same.

one voice

Though I agree with Liz when she says originality is dead, one thing that I have is my voice, my heart. It’s what got me here today. When clients come in to my office and say, “I just love your blog,” what I hear is “I love your voice.” And while writing style is different here than it is when I’m drafting a client newsletter, or press release, the process needn’t be.

Because, if I’m going to call myself a writer, the writing I do for work can, and should, be infused with as much passion as there is here. And you know what? I am getting there.

so what’s this?

#reverb10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. Get in on this.