what brings me down, and how i get out of it

Posted in hard stuff and tagged with breakup, frenemies, friends, giving on 02/07/2010 10:12 am by Becca

I used to have this friend. She was a best friend. She and I shared years of friendship and good times. We lived together for three years, and eventually, just couldn’t be friends any more. It was THE worst break-up of my life. I have actually never been through anything with a guy, like the pain I went through with her.

that was three years ago this month.

So, a few weeks ago, I ran into her. And it was clear to me, that there are some bitter, ugly feelings there. I can never know, let alone do anything about, the way she feels about me [although I'm sure I could make some pretty close guesses].

About halfway through the three-hour class [the first and only session of my online class], I realized she still has power over me. She has power to make me feel small. She has the power to make me feel like I am who I think she thinks I am [I had to read it twice, too].

it’s not about her

She’s not doing anything but being herself. And that’s all I can do, too. And myself? I’m not this small person. I’m not someone who needs to engage in in the petty stuff. I’m successful and I have an awesome job and and awesome life. Filled with a boyfriend who loves me, friends and family who support me, a kitteh who snuggles me. And who the hell cares what she thinks anyway? But I can’t deny that I still have yucky feelings. It’s easy to regress into the same person I was at 21 years old.

which is how i get out of the yuck

I remind myself that it’s not me anymore and the rest seems so small; doesn’t matter. What gets me out of it is to get outside of myself. Give to others. That night, I got an e-mail from Nate with ItStartsWith.Us about an #Ateam mission. And then I remembered who I am NOW.

Giving to someone in some way does two things. It takes me outside of myself, taking the focus off the petty stuff. It also brings me back in to who I am, not who I was.

so, what do you do when something brings you way down?

http://www.fixjournalism.com/ Mike Higdon

I'm glad you worked through this, I was worried when you talked about it last weekend.

When I get down, I do the same thing. Remind myself I'm an employed white American with people and things and a job that I love/love me. Then I realize I'm being petty and STFU about it to myself.
http://thatloudgirl.com/ becca wikler

I love it I think, as long as we know how to get ourselves out of those yucky places, we're okay. Just have to remember to do it!
http://www.peterdewolf.com/ Peter

I tell myself that I am awesomely adorable.

Then I laugh because I realize that I'm not kidding.
http://www.bloggersinsincity.com/introducing-becca Introducing… Becca

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