why do i write?

Posted in writing about writing and tagged with , , on 05/06/2010 07:30 am by Becca

You know, there’s this small sizable too-big-to-admit part of me that wonders if I should even be writing at all. I wonder what am I doing writing this blog? Who will ever really care what I write here? Am I doing it just for myself?

Would I be able to go on with my life without it? Yeah. [one blog post in the last month. Please.] Sometimes I question my desire, and if it’s event the right thing for me. Sure, writing is an outlet. It absolutely feels cathartic to put it all down on paper blinkey-cursor-thing. But I don’t feel like I NEED it. I can achieve that same cathartic feeling from talking it out with a best friend, a good yoga session or finally letting it all hit the fan and breaking down completely. Am I really a writer? Why do I write? And if I really wanted to be here, in this space, I’d make time to write regular posts. Right?

oh, self-doubt. you are no friend of mine

Here’s what I do know:

  • Writing helps me work through things. It helps me figure out what my feelings actually are on something, when nothing else seems to work. So although I’d rather use a real life person to bounce things off of, I know that sometimes to think clearly, I just need to get. the words. out.
  • I’m drawn to it. I always have been. I’ve never really not thought of myself as a writer. No amount of self-doubt can really change that.
  • I want to get better at it.

So I’m going to [try to] stop doubting myself.  And start trusting myself. The writing will happen. And if I’m afraid it doesn’t, I’m just going to do it anyway, dammit.

  • http://doniree.com/ doniree

    I think you're a beautiful writer, and you'll only find yourself loving your writing more and more the more you do it. I've seen so many bloggers (hopefully myself include) really evolve in their writing and ways of expressing themselves, and it happens over the course of months, and years. You'll only continue to grow if you continue feeding your practice :)

  • http://cafelaura.blogspot.com Laura Jill

    First of all, I care what you write here. So does my mom–she has your blog bookmarked now. :) The kind of writing that helps ME work through things usually happens in my personal pen-and-paper journal. But blogging can have that same effect–writing in this context CAN be a lot like talking something out with a best friend, or with A LOT of friends, lol.

    So keep doing it–you'll find out the purpose of this blog–and even if you feel that you don't, the journey actually IS the purpose.

    xoxo,
    LJ

  • http://thatloudgirl.com/ becca wikler

    OMG Aunt Bobbie reads my blog?! I love it!!

    Thank you Laura, that really means a lot coming from you! I admire you so much :)

  • http://thatloudgirl.com/ becca wikler

    Doni, you feed my soul. Thank you for your kind words – here and elsewhere.

  • http://cafelaura.blogspot.com Laura Jill

    Awwww, thanks, Becca. For the record, I admire you a whole lot too.

    xoxo

  • http://www.mackcollier.com mack collier

    Hey Becca! I go through the exact same thing sometimes. I think 'Oh it's all been said before, what can I blog about that's new?' I think another problem is we see all these other bloggers that are churning out posts everyday and fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to them,

    Your idea is best, write when you want to, and if you don't, then don't worry about it. This isn't a competition!

    Have a great weekend!

  • http://livitluvit.com LivitLuvit

    I'm with ya, 100%. Sometimes I think about hanging it up, but I just don't think I could. Like you, I've been posting less, though, and I like that- only writing when I actually have something to say. :-)

  • http://thatloudgirl.com/ becca wikler

    Thank you!! It's just nice to know other people are battling this self-doubt bs too. :)

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