I feel calm, and it's so dope.
It was World Mental Health Day last week, and I spent it as, I would guess, most did. I scrolled through social media, came across some posts about ending mental health stigma, thought for the appropriate number of seconds about how much I agreed with that mission, and then, as a gesture of how woke … Continue reading ending the stigma. or whatever.
The reason why I have yet to write about Alexis and MPD is because they are a part of me. We were spun from the same soul matter. It's hard to extract yourself from yourself, and that's, in a way, what I have to do in order to even speak on these women. Also I … Continue reading on my best friends
I wonder when everyone who loves me will ultimately realize that nothing is going to come of it. The people who believe in me, who think I’m somewhere above average, the ones who say I’m smart and that my future is bright. I wonder when they’ll realize. I know that when they do they won’t … Continue reading another 5:50 AM-er (on depression and worthlessness)
It makes me laugh that I originally titled this thatloudgirl. Maybe I was, when I had ideas and jokes and stories to draw people in, to make them interested in getting to know a mediocre-looking hick who got her laughs lazily. I don't feel very loud at all now. In fact, I don't feel anything … Continue reading empty: depression from its tighest grips *trigger warning: talk of suicide, self harm*
I honestly don't know what I intend for this entry to be. There's always a scene early on in space movies -- after a super thrilling five minutes of attempted puzzle solving or cascading catastrophes or maybe just a few seconds of some unforeseen complication that leaves someone flung out into space, alone and drifting … Continue reading something I wrote immediately pre-psychosis
I feel like social media is fucking everything up. I'll explain. I know that I have no idea how life as a young person before social media took over actually was, and that pretty much anything I say is probably an idealization, at best a guess, but I just can't really see how it couldn't … Continue reading bored thoughts on social media: a ramble
Being a nineteen-year-old girl is not easy. We face rejection and comparison to others every time we step foot out of the door because we are facets in a culture that is entirely obsessed with us. I can handle the physical comparisons and the double standards. What I'm having a hard time mastering, however, is … Continue reading break ups
I bought this book of a dead college girl's essays and short stories in the airport last summer heading back from orientation, and this quote has stuck with me. I've been thinking about it a lot recently. I looked it up to make sure I got it right. This it it: "But as I watched … Continue reading this quote i’ve been thinking about
Update: I'm still awake. It's now 5 a.m., so I think I might just stay up...? There's a difference between having a hard time getting to sleep and knowing with complete certainty that it's just not going to happen for you tonight. Anyway, I've been reflecting on that earlier post and just how good it … Continue reading my faith & what it has to do with this guy
It's 3:03 a.m. and I have to be awake in four hours. As you can see, my life is in shambles. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this. I couldn't sleep, so I was on Facebook (naturally) and came across a blog of a senior in my sorority that she'd started when … Continue reading the first (and maybe the only)