it twangs melodic from granddaddy's wind chimes -- from there it runs like liquid mercury down, down into hearts unchristened and eyes of children. into my mouth it poured waxy but smooth, unfamiliar till it settled. now my heart beats through it like molasses, and like molasses I thought it was sweet at … Continue reading on the porch
Author: ethelann
black coat
i held you close woven around cotton candy fingers, streamers of me and you. you poured your life colors all over my lap i don't want to feel their last dampness underneath my toweled palm. help me, now Reach Out for the last of me slips through the slits of my millennial hands and … Continue reading black coat
happy
I feel calm, and it's so dope.
ending the stigma. or whatever.
It was World Mental Health Day last week, and I spent it as, I would guess, most did. I scrolled through social media, came across some posts about ending mental health stigma, thought for the appropriate number of seconds about how much I agreed with that mission, and then, as a gesture of how woke … Continue reading ending the stigma. or whatever.
on my best friends
The reason why I have yet to write about Alexis and MPD is because they are a part of me. We were spun from the same soul matter. It's hard to extract yourself from yourself, and that's, in a way, what I have to do in order to even speak on these women. Also I … Continue reading on my best friends
Protected: another 5:50 AM-er (on depression and worthlessness)
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
empty: depression from its tighest grips *trigger warning: talk of suicide, self harm*
It makes me laugh that I originally titled this thatloudgirl. Maybe I was, when I had ideas and jokes and stories to draw people in, to make them interested in getting to know a mediocre-looking hick who got her laughs lazily. I don't feel very loud at all now. In fact, I don't feel anything … Continue reading empty: depression from its tighest grips *trigger warning: talk of suicide, self harm*
Protected: something I wrote immediately pre-psychosis
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
bored thoughts on social media: a ramble
I feel like social media is fucking everything up. I'll explain. I know that I have no idea how life as a young person before social media took over actually was, and that pretty much anything I say is probably an idealization, at best a guess, but I just can't really see how it couldn't … Continue reading bored thoughts on social media: a ramble
break ups
Being a nineteen-year-old girl is not easy. We face rejection and comparison to others every time we step foot out of the door because we are facets in a culture that is entirely obsessed with us. I can handle the physical comparisons and the double standards. What I'm having a hard time mastering, however, is … Continue reading break ups
this quote i’ve been thinking about
I bought this book of a dead college girl's essays and short stories in the airport last summer heading back from orientation, and this quote has stuck with me. I've been thinking about it a lot recently. I looked it up to make sure I got it right. This it it: "But as I watched … Continue reading this quote i’ve been thinking about
my faith & what it has to do with this guy
Update: I'm still awake. It's now 5 a.m., so I think I might just stay up...? There's a difference between having a hard time getting to sleep and knowing with complete certainty that it's just not going to happen for you tonight. Anyway, I've been reflecting on that earlier post and just how good it … Continue reading my faith & what it has to do with this guy
